


who you are and who you've been

by kay_okay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: College, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Moving In Together, Summer, Swimming, Swimming Pools, University, dan is a whiny brat and phil loves it, midnight swim, pools
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 15:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16042958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kay_okay/pseuds/kay_okay
Summary: The last day of summer seems like the perfect time to break into a public pool and make life-altering decisions in the middle of the night.





	who you are and who you've been

**Author's Note:**

> title and lyrics included lifted from ["mariners apartment complex" by lana del rey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uFv9Ts7Sdw). this song is so beautiful, the literal epitome of the fleeting last nights of summer pressed close to the one that means the most to you.
> 
> thank you so much to cait [@commonemergency](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonemergency/) and j [@velleitees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/velleitees/pseuds/velleitees) for your support, beta, and keysmashing dms about this.
> 
> this is a work of fiction. this is a fictional story about fictional representations of real people. none of the events are true. no profit was made from this work. all mistakes left are my own.

  


  


  
_you lose your way, just take my hand_  
_you're lost at sea, then i'll command your boat to me again_  
_don't look too far, right where you are, that's where i am_  
_i'm your man_  
_i'm your man_  


  


  
  
“Can the record show that I think this is a bad idea?”

Dan shines his torch through a gap in the gate and watches it reflect off the shimmering and clear water of the very dark, very closed public swimming pool. The light bounces off the dark blue and green tiles lining the bottom of the pool, shining bright patterns up in delicate, shadowed shapes. 

“So shown,” Phil says, tossing his rucksack over the gate and digging his trainer into a small but well-worn hole in the metal fence. He boosts himself up with his arms and in an unprecedented display of grace manages to hoist both his long legs over, one at a time, until he lands effortlessly on the concrete below him. Bouncing on both feet like a cat, he grabs his bag off the ground and looks at Dan through the chain link.

“Isn’t there a door I could come through or something?” Dan asks, gazing up at the tall fence, gripping on to it gingerly with one finger. His voice leans closer to whining.

“This is only about two feet taller than you. Get over here.” Phil grins at Dan’s dirty look and taps Dan’s finger with his own. “Don't worry. I told you I used to work here in uni, and my mates and I would do this all the time. I honestly think my boss knew. Nobody cares.”

Dan’s dirty look intensifies. His eyebrows furrow deeper, his scowl gets longer.

“Okay, stay out there,” Phil shrugs a shoulder and reaches his hands back, gripping the collar of his t-shirt and pulling it easily over his head. Dan’s face flattens instantly, his eyes trailing down Phil’s exposed skin before the t-shirt sails over the fence in a ball, hitting him on the head.

“Phil!”

Phil’s already walking towards the pool, but he turns around to grin at Dan and puts his pack on his bare back. “I’ll see you there!” he calls.

The mid-September air is thick up here in the enclosed pool, even if it is after midnight and pitch black outside. Dan lets out an exasperated sigh and after a minute, tosses his own pack over the gate, attempting to follow Phil’s track to the other side. After only a minor slip and a close call that would’ve rendered him a permanent soprano, he makes it over in one piece.

Phil’s trousers on the floor nearly trip him as he rounds the corner to face the pool.

“Lose something?” Dan calls, picking them up and dangling them from one finger. Phil looks over from the rippling surface of the water where he’s already inside and dunked himself under, black hair slicked back with wetness and fingers dancing in circles at the water line.

“Some _ one _ , actually. But now he’s turned up and now he should get in here with me.” Phil’s voice echoes off the water, and he starts to wade closer to the edge near where Dan's standing. 

Dan rolls his eyes, thankful the dim streetlights outside streaming in through the windows don’t reveal his pinking cheeks. “You think you’re so cute.” He tosses Phil’s trousers aside and kicks his shoes off, peeling down his socks and shoving them inside. 

“I don’t see you complaining.” Phil’s paddled over to the side of the pool, folded arms holding him up along the ledge as he watches Dan disrobe. “I’m certainly not complaining now.”

Dan feigns shock, stops himself in mid-pull of his own shirt over his head. “Why, Philip Michael Lester. Are you being fresh with me?” Dan turns, pulling his shirt back down and covering his chest with his palms. He looks coyly at Phil over his shoulder and bats his eyelashes.

Once again, Dan really doesn’t know where Phil’s been hiding all this strength, but Phil grins at him and plants his hands firmly on the side of the pool, pushing up roughly. His shoulders contract, biceps tighten as he hoists himself out of the water, and Dan’s so preoccupied with staring that he doesn't process running away fast enough. 

Phil’s face fills with an evil grin as he dives at Dan, throwing his arms around him, fakes pushing him towards the surface. Dan shrieks and bats him off, trying desperately to wriggle out of Phil’s wet grasp and plant his feet at the pool’s edge. “So help me God, if you throw me in -- ”

Phil pulls him backwards against his chest, arms firmly around Dan’s middle and chuckling softly in his ear. “Okay, okay,” he murmurs, and Dan leans back, presses into damp skin. 

“I'm all wet now,” Dan whines. 

“And while at a pool too, how tragic,” Phil comments as he pulls off Dan’s t-shirt. Dan turns around to face Phil, who’s tossed the fabric aside. 

“You're feeling sassy tonight,” Dan comments, his arms at his sides and letting Phil reach for the clasp on his shorts. 

Phil just smiles, opts for no response as he gets the button undone and bends down, Dan holding on to Phil’s shoulders as he steps out of the shorts. Phil stretches back up, cold hands low around Dan’s waist keeping him close when he finally gets back to eye level. 

“Thanks for the help,” Dan says, smiling when Phil’s hands slide lower, fingertips lightly pushing under elastic. “But are we going to take advantage of our break-in and swim, or are you going to keep me here and manhandle me all night?”

Phil’s eyes widen and he smirks at Dan's cheek. He declines to answer again as he leans down, and Dan has only a split second of confusion before he knows exactly what's going on. “Phil, no!”

But it's too late because Phil’s hands have already slid around the back of Dan’s thighs, and it only takes one swift tug to get Dan’s feet off the ground. Dan pitches forward, falling against Phil’s shoulder as he pushes him higher. He screeches in protest, kicking his feet as Phil starts to make his way to the side staircase leading into the shallow end of the pool. 

“Put me down! Oh my god, you're freakishly strong. Have you been working out and not telling me? This is absurd, I can get in the pool myself --  _ Phil! _ ” He feels cool water touch his big toe and he yanks his leg up, Phil stopping in his tracks. “It’s cold!”

“Keep yelling Dan, I really feel like getting arrested tonight after someone hears you and calls the police,” Phil says calmly, up to his waist in the water and able to toss Dan off his shoulder at any minute. 

“Okay, okay, I concede. White flag,” Dan goes limp and feebly waves his hand behind Phil’s back. “Let me go and I'll stop screaming.”

Phil lifts his arms out to his sides, Dan clinging to his back like a panicked cat faced with a full bathtub. “Go on, then.”

Dan slides down Phil’s body like a tree trunk, centimeter at a time. He dunks his toe in, then his calves, then his knees. Eventually he’s got one leg wrapped around Phil’s waist, the other submerged, white knuckles gripping Phil’s shoulders as though he’d fall to his death if he let go, complaining the whole time.

“Oh, for God’s sake. Hold your breath,” Phil finally says, deciding he’s had quite enough. Bending his own knees, he pitches them both underwater.

Dan jumps up once he’s got his footing, shouting as he wraps his arms around himself and shivering, looking like a drowned rat. “Phil!”

Phil’s smiling, but it’s fond and familiar. He turns his head to Dan angrily chucking water at him from open palms, reaching to tug at Dan’s waist and bring him close. “Come here, you absolute flop, come here and I’ll keep you warm.” Dan struggles against him, the scarlet splashed on his cheeks and brown eyes flashing. 

“C’mon, dunk under. You’ll get used to it.” Phil pulls gently, edges them closer to the deeper end so the water creeps up their bodies little by little. They’re paddling quietly together, and it’s not until Phil feels the ground of the deep end pull away from his feet that Dan will look at him.

“You mad at me?” Phil asks, corner of his mouth turning up.

“It’s cold,” Dan replies stubbornly. His hair hangs in his face and he pushes it away roughly with a hand, the other paddling to help him stay afloat. The water laps up under his chin as it moves, short choppy waves powered by his strokes. 

“I’m sorry.”

Phil gets closer, lets the soft kicks of his feet keeping him above water gently knock into Dan’s. One of his hands finds Dan’s waist again, wrapping around loose. He tries to get Dan to meet his eyes by moving his head, but Dan’s having none of it, dodging the opposite way every time.

“Okay,” Phil half-shrugs underwater, pulls Dan tighter against him. “I don’t need you to look at me to get what I want.”

Phil lowers his mouth to the sensitive arc of Dan’s neck, the bowed line of skin connecting to his shoulder quivering when Dan gasps tightly, drawing a breath in. Phil drags his teeth across, nips tiny bites into Dan’s tanned skin, whose hands come up and grip against Phil’s forearms. 

Dan lets out a tiny moan, lips parted and air rushing across them when Phil noses against Dan’s jaw bone, changes direction to pay more attention to the other side. 

“You make a good argument for my forgiveness,” Dan mutters, in spite of himself. 

Phil grins against Dan’s warmed skin, licks across Dan’s throat as it bobs in a swallow. Dan arches his back, points his toes valiantly to try and find the bottom of the pool for traction, huffing in satisfaction when he finally can push up. Water crashes around them in the silent pool as Phil lifts his arms above the surface, runs cold fingers against the underside of Dan’s hair and pulls.

Dan feels chills run down his spine, lets the buoyancy of the water and Phil’s bare arms hold him up as he surrenders. He lets his eyes slide back, lids dropping over them when Phil trails up his neck and behind his ear. Somewhere in the recess of his mind, Dan’s heart swells with love for this -- how Phil knows all his quirks, his weaknesses, his soft spots and strengths, and is never shy or selfish about giving Dan exactly what he wants. Dan feels his breath even out, heart rate slowing as he lets the wave of comfort and familiarity wash over him.

Dan’s not sure how much time passes, but eventually he feels Phil pull away minutely. 

“Did you really just yawn while I was kissing you?”

Phil’s voice huffs out against Dan’s neck where he’s stopped his prior ministrations and sounds equal parts surprised and offended.

“Ugh, I’m sorry. I’m so tired,” and just to add insult to injury he yawns again. 

Phil makes a noise that sounds like what Dan’s mum says when she doesn’t believe him (something two-syllabic and hard at the end, like an  _ mm-HM! _ or  _ uh-HUH! _ and not only do they sound the same but they’re equally bad) and tries to pull away. Dan locks his legs around Phil’s waist and cradles his face, finally brings their mouths together and kisses Phil like he knows he loves: slow and biting, fingertips massaging against Phil’s jaw, opening his mouth and welcoming him in once Phil’s stopped struggling to get away.

It’s clear Dan’s won him over again when Phil reaches for Dan’s flanks, lightly running his fingernails across the skin. He grins out of their kiss, unlocking his legs hopping down. He paddles over to a side in the shallow end, one hand guiding his way and the other laced together with Phil. They reach the side and he jumps up to plant himself on the ledge, legs dangling in the water. Dan shakes his head, wet threads of hair flying as he tries to get the water out of his ears. 

Phil follows, wading over to him. Dan smiles when Phil instead stays in the pool, pulling Dan’s knees apart as Phil presses his torso between them. 

“Why are you so tired?”

Dan rolls his eyes, his fingers absently pushing Phil’s wet fringe out of his eyes. “My flatmates have been up all weekend throwing parties with what sounds like our entire building. It’s not quiet enough to study or film or sleep.” Dan flips his tone to sarcastic and taps Phil on the nose. “That’s why you had me bugging you and invading your space every night this week.”

Phil’s hands snake around behind Dan, pulling him closer to the ledge to be a fraction nearer. “You don’t bug me, Dan. I like it when you’re there.”

Dan smiles, a warmed mixture of pleased and embarrassed. “What about you? Not tired yet?”

“Not at all.” 

Phil's quiet voice carries across the short distance between them, his eyes staring up and impossibly blue, full of something else Dan can't pin down. A soft, fond look Dan suspects is a reflection of his own gaze. Dan drops his eyes quickly, his heart feeling inexplicably full in his chest as his cheeks redden again. 

He busies his hands, fashioning Phil's damp hair into a messy quiff. “This could work for you.”

“I'm not sure I've earned a quiff just yet,” Phil remarks. 

“Or this.” Dan’s hands work the hair into a swoop, parting it on the opposite side from normal. Phil instantly looks like a different person and Dan cringes, crying out audibly. “Ugh, no. No,” and Phil cracks up as Dan messes the style up as quick as he made it. 

“This would look good if your hair was shorter here,” he murmurs, pushing back with both hands at the hair along the sides of his head while twisting and sculpting at the middle third. “A little faux hawk. You’d be cute as a punk.”

“Me, a punk,” Phil laughs, “Nobody would ever go for that.”

“Mm,” Dan disagrees softly, tipping his head. “I could see it.” 

Dan lets his hands fall to the side, slides his palms slowly up Phil’s arms. “All covered in tattoos,” he muses, lets the pitch of his voice fall low as he leans in. “Piercing here,” And Phil’s arms tighten around Dan’s waist as he leans in further, gently pulling Phil’s earlobe into his mouth. 

“Maybe here,” Dan’s mouth says to Phil’s cheek, kissing gently against the side of Phil’s nose. He hears Phil let out a shaky breath across his chin, his fingertips digging against Dan’s hipbones, pulling him another fraction closer to the edge of the pool. Dan’s legs spread wider to accommodate, heels pressing into the thin drainage gap, just below the pool’s edge.

“But really, I think here…” Dan frames Phil’s jaw with his hands, and Phil in turn tips his warm face up to meet Dan’s eyes. Phil’s almost done, gaze completely blown, eyelids at half-mast and lips parted, and Dan pulls in slowly. Suddenly, he licks a long stripe up Phil’s face and bursts into laughter.

“I knew you were going to do that!” Phil exclaims, wiping with the back of his hand and jumping back, chopping the water and soaking Dan all over again with just a few hits. 

Dan’s screeching, laughing hysterically and holding up his hands to feebly shield himself as Phil keeps splashing. “Come on! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

Reluctantly, Phil stops splashing and Dan leans his long legs out, presses his feet against Phil’s shoulders and drags him back in. “I’m sorry. Come back, come back. I’m sorry.”

Phil’s arms are folded when he gets all the way in so Dan leans down and unwinds them, puts them back in their previous location of around Dan’s thighs. The only difference now is that they’re both completely soaked again.

“Funny, eh?” Phil chides, but he squeezes his fingers against the low-hanging band of elastic drawn tight around Dan’s hips. 

“A little, yeah,” Dan says, grin stretched far across his face and eyes glittering. Phil stares up, wants nothing more at that moment than to always be the reason Dan has that expression on his face. 

“ _ Please  _ tell me I can stay at yours tonight, I can’t even  _ fathom  _ going back to my uni hall right now,” Dan complains, gusty voice full of dramatic sighs and an eyeroll. 

“Still not going well?” 

“Phil, I’ve been there a million years and I hate it.”

“You’ve been there exactly two weeks,” Phil contends.

“My view is of a bin and other peoples’ windows and my food is constantly getting stolen by my flatmates,” Dan charges on, unhearing. He has the tone of voice he gets when he’s trying passionately to convince Phil to get his way but hasn’t yet resorted to whining. “My room wouldn’t be so tiny if I was maybe a foot shorter, and I literally think I’m developing scoliosis from crouching every time I have to stand up.” 

“You can always come stay with me.”

Dan skates his palms across Phil’s shoulders. Always so tactile. “I know, and thank you. But like I said, I hate the thought of me imposing. Or worse off, you getting sick of me.”

“I’m already sick of you, I’m just being polite,” Phil answers so quickly and Dan barks out a surprised laugh, lifts his leg to press his foot square in the middle of Phil’s chest as he pushes him away. Phil grabs on to avoid falling backwards into the water, pinching Dan’s calf and tickling the bottom of his foot. Dan yelps again.

“You don’t have to be there for long,” Phil comments, re-settling himself back in the space between Dan’s bent knees. He clasps his hands together behind Dan’s back.

“My contract is for a year so at least that long. God, I can’t believe I’ve only been there two weeks,” Dan idly plays with the black strands of hair sticking up on the side of Phil’s head.

“Well, give it a year then. Maybe you can move in somewhere else after.” 

“I guess so. It can be something I can look back and say I did, ‘I survived a year in a uni hall’ or something, bragging rights, yeah? It’ll make a good video, if nothing else,” Dan stops toying with Phil’s hair and brings his hands up to his own face, “The thought of living with a stranger all over again, doing the awkward getting-to-know-you song and dance, it’s exhausting, and the people in my classes are so dreary, law students have got to be single-handedly the dullest students in the entire university --” Dan is, as usual, pulling his two favorite cards when he gets talkative which is 1) going a mile a minute and 2) laying the drama on thick. 

“Dan,” Phil reaches up and brings Dan’s hands down off his face where they’d crept up into his own brown matted hair, a little hysterically. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out.”

Dan visibly calms, takes a deep breath in and out. His face is still splashed with pink, high on his cheekbones, but his eyes a little less wild, voice a little less manic. “Okay.”

“Look, if anything you can just stay with me for a bit at the end of the semester if it gets too bad.” Phil looks carefully up at him, and chews a little nervously on his lip. He’s leading up to something but Dan’s got tunnel vision and misses it entirely.

“Your place is tiny. Plus I’d have all my stuff everywhere, coming and going while I look for a place at all hours of the day,” Dan waves a hand, “I don’t want to inconvenience you, Phil.”

“It wouldn’t be an inconvenience. You know that.”

“It just seems counterproductive, to move my stuff out of the hall and into your flat, back into a flat when I find my own place,” Dan shakes his head. “Doesn’t really make sense.”

Phil sighs, long-suffering, game decidedly given up on his end. “Or maybe you get the hints I’m dropping and we could live together next year,” Phil finally says, pretense dropped to make way for a smirk accompanied by an eyeroll.

He feels Dan freeze in his hands, staring down at Phil in disbelief. They’re quiet for several long moments and Phil just about edges into panic, thinking it was way too soon to suggest something like this and is about to pretend he was kidding and take it all back -- 

Suddenly, a choked laugh bubbles up from Dan’s chest, incredulous, a smile bright as the sun breaking onto his face. “Move in with you?” He asks, and he can feel his heartbeat in his palms that press against the back of Phil’s neck, “Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m serious.”

“Like, us live together, like in the same flat.”

Phil chuckles, tightens his grip around Dan’s thighs as he pulls him closer, “Yes you buffoon, us, live together, in the same flat.”

“Yeah?” Dan’s firmly between shocked and excited, heart going a mile a minute, mouth again stretched into a wide grin.

“Yeah.”

“Really?”

They can’t stop smiling. Phil’s eyes go to slits as he cracks up, throws his head back, shouts “Really!” to the vaulted ceiling, Dan laughing as it echoes off the surface of the water. 

“Stop repeating everything I’m saying and come here already,” Dan says, a little giddy with want and a need to be closer, one that pushes him over the side of the pool to fall against Phil as they both crash underwater. 

Kissing underwater isn’t quite as sexy or fun as it looks in the movies so they come up quickly, after Phil gets his arms around Dan’s middle and pulls in tight. Dan’s kissing him like he’s trying to fuse them together, arms slung tight around Phil’s soft shoulders. He’s light in the water, hitching a leg around Phil’s waist, the other following suit once Phil gets him pressed back against the side wall.

Phil’s palms slide low and he lifts Dan by his thighs, keeps him snug between his body and the wall while they kiss, hard and excited bites turning soft and slow. The surface of the water goes still, unmoving like a fine pane of glass, and Dan tilts his head and opens his lips slowly. The playful mood changes quickly to something darker. 

Water crashes loudly, echoing when Phil pulls an arm out, his wet palm cradling Dan’s jaw, the other still underwater and holding tight to Dan’s leg. Phil presses his kisses in soundly, his palm gripping tightly against the joint at Dan’s hip and whimpering softly when Dan threads his fingers into Phil’s hair and pulls gently. Phil worries Dan’s bottom lip between his teeth, Dan’s head tipping back as he lets out a soft moan when Phil releases him.

Phil lays soft, sucking kisses against the caramel skin at Dan’s neck, Dan squirming in his grasp and tightening his grip around Phil’s shoulders. He knows this drives Dan crazy and he exploits it every chance he gets.

“Phil,” Dan tries feebly to break their contact, “Phil, you should know,” and he stops every time Phil fastens his lips around another mouthful of Dan’s skin, quiet moans working their way out of his throat, “You should know, I’m not an easy person to live with.”

Phil makes a vaguely uninterested sound, slides his hands lower, pushing past the elastic of Dan’s pants.

“Yeah, I…  _ Fuck _ ,” because Phil’s got two handfuls of ass now and he’s not shy about kneading into them, pulling Dan closer to him over and over again. “I hate sweeping the floor.”

Phil trails up, hums against Dan’s mouth before kissing him breathless. “Okay, we’ll get carpet.”

Dan chuckles, his head tipping to the other side when Phil drags his tongue up Dan’s neck, takes an earlobe in his mouth. “ _ God, _ I… I never wash dishes.”

“We’ll use paper plates,” Phil murmurs directly into Dan’s ear, pitched low and graveled, throat hoarse from all their kissing, and Dan shivers. Phil keeps him propped up with his left arm and slides his right back around, fingers pushing a trail down Dan’s abdomen before they breach the waistline of his shorts.

“I leave --” Dan makes a low growl in his throat when Phil strokes sloppily, loose fist moving slower than normal under the water’s resistance, “I leave my laundry everywhere. I never do it.”

Phil presses their lips together lightly, sharing air against Dan’s mouth as he smiles knowingly. “Clothes are overrated and we should get rid of them.” 

Dan laughs a little weakly, closes his eyes and leans back against the wall, defeated. There’s nothing more that he wants to do other than dispel every worry from his body, lay back and let the person he loves take care of him in more ways than one. But something stops him.

“Phil, wait,” he slides a palm up to grip the back of Phil’s neck, pitched low in the cool water where he’s kissing against the damp skin stretched across Dan’s chest. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong?” Phil stops his ministrations and pulls back lightly. “Do you want to stop?”

Dan shuttles his eyes back and forth between Phil’s gaze and his kiss-bitten lips. He smiles to himself softly, runs his thumb along the plump bottom half of Phil’s mouth. “Yes.”

Phil looks a combination of disappointed and mildly horrified so Dan remedies quickly, “Yes but, I just want to go back to yours. I’m a little cold to be honest.” As if on cue, a fresh wave of goosebumps cascades across his arms and he shivers.

He brings Dan in closer immediately, trailing warmed palms over Dan’s skin and leaning their foreheads together. 

“Back to ours, you mean?”

It’s hardly above a whisper, their shared secret that Phil breathes between them, mouth stretching into a smile he can’t hold back. Dan finds himself mirroring it, a soft laugh playing out as pushes further into Phil’s space, connects their mouths again and again.

“ _ Yes, yes, _ ” he confesses after every kiss, smile a mile wide, arms tight, heart full. “Ours.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/kay_okays) and [tumblr](http://kay-okays.tumblr.com/tagged/*mine) xoxo
> 
> this was for the "midnight swim" square on my [phandom fic fests](https://phandomficfests.tumblr.com/) bingo card. once i finish the card i'll add a link to the masterpost.
> 
> thank you for all the nice things you say about my fics. <3


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